DDLG Playground

A safe place to learn about the lifestyle

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Anonymous asked: I love your blog!! You helped me so much to realize i am a little and proud of it! And now im more open to finding a daddy! The websites you gave were super helpful! <3 thank you so much!!

You are very welcome!

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Anonymous asked: I was wondering if you could give me advice on how to make sure that a Dom/Domme that you've met online is who he/she says they are. I'm a male sub I recently entered into my second online relationship with a mistress. The first one was over quickly and was a bit of a disappointment

I’d ask for a photo of him/her with a piece of paper with their name written on it and the date. You can also Skype or ask if you can call to chat on the phone for just a moment. If you’re looking for an actual relationship then eventually surnames should be swapped, most people have an active online presence so Google will help with that.

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Anonymous asked: My Sir and I are long distance. Usually we video chat twice a week and do phone calls intermittently. Lately he's been so busy that he just doesn't have time for me. To an extent, I understand. He has exams, his job and he's very involved in clubs. Sometimes he won't be able to talk because he's out with friends. This makes me feel like I'm not a very high priority. I was hoping maybe you might have some advice for our situation. We will be able to see each other this summer.

Maybe work on yourself a bit? Find some things you enjoy doing so that you’re not sitting around pining for him so much. In my experience while talking to various Doms, they do appreciate a sub who has her own interests, passions and ambitions. So by working on yourself, you’re also serving him. 

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Anonymous asked: he other day my guy grabbed me on the sofa and started grabbing and groping. He then told me to be still and started slapping my face (which is usually a turn-on for me). But this time as the pain grew I just wanted it to stop. It wasn't turning me on, and my normal response to that, which is to be feisty and wrestle him for control, wasn't happening. It didn't even occur to me.I started crying-usually a turn-on for both of us—I have anxiety issues in the real world,

and the release helps me cope day-to-day), and said, “Please stop hitting me. What can I do that will make you stop hitting me?”

It was the first time I reacted as if I were actually being abused. We talked about it afterwards. He feels awful, and I just can’t understand where those feelings are coming from. He is a sweet and attentive fellow who won’t hurt me unless he knows I want him to. But I can’t figure out why I didn’t want it! I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I don’t feel like myself at all.

MF: This happens. You don’t have to be in the mood for BDSM all the time. That’s why safe words are important even in long-term relationships. One bad experience can be scarring and turn you off to that kink for a long time. It happens to me. It’s okay. Talk it out as much as you need to with your SO and don’t feel pressured to consent to the kink again until you’re ready.

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Anonymous asked: I'm feeling very confused and I really hope you can help. For as long as I can remember, I have been submissive. I love taking care of people and making sure they are happy.Once I got pregnant, my hormones went a little wonky. While I still wanted to take care of my husband I needed more comforting and gentle play. But I was still submissive!Now that my son is a month old I have no submissive feelings. I still want my husband happy but not to the same level. I won't push myself to make it

happen.

I realize that it hasn’t been that long since my son was born but I’m so confused. I have always identified as a submissive. It has been a huge part of who I am. My husband was the first person I would consider a dominant over me and I was his first sub. It’s a big part of our relationship.

Please reassure me that this will pass. Or ways to make it pass. I don’t know how we will handle it if I don’t get my submissive side back.


LC: It very well could pass. Pregnancy, and postpartum, can cause some serious hormonal and emotional changes. Many women call this the “breastfeeding fog”. Once your life settles down with the child, you can begin to re-asses your submissiveness, it very well may come back. I can’t imagine not feeling submissive any more though! Also, congrats on the kid!

MS: Motherhood (and all the hormones that go with it) make everything very very different. Try to just be a new mom for a while and let your life settle somewhat again into the new way of being. Right now, you’re a Mom first of all biologically, emotionally, mentally and it may just take a while for you to start feeling like more than a Mom again.
If you’re submissive, you’re submissive. The fact that something (major) came along and shifted your balance shouldn’t change that. Hang in there. New babies and lack of sleep mess everything up. Don’t worry, don’t push, just be. Take care of you, and well, congratulations on your son :) giant hugs It’ll be ok.

BD: Well, right now you’re submissive to a one month old’s wants and needs right? Babies are so demanding that you may just not have the energy to be submissive to your husband for a few months. Not to mention all the chemicals that are still floating around your brain.

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Anonymous asked: My dom has been lying to me about something and I feel more hurt by the fact that he lied than what the lie was about. I don't know how to regain trust and could use some advice. I'm not great at trusting people to begin with and I'm at a loss about how to go about this.

If the lie endangered your safety, then you need to put your safety first. If that means that you need to not be around him for a while, make arrangements to do that. If lying breaches the terms of your relationship (not your D/s dynamic, but the relationship that underlies and serves as that dynamic’s foundation) then he has knowingly negated any right to tell you what to do as your Dom. Get whatever amount of distance makes you feel safe, and then work on rebuilding trust if you feel that’s appropriate.

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Anonymous asked: I have a 3 year old sister (huge age gap of 15 years, i know) and I love playing with her toys! It allows me to be in little space kind of discreetly. Hehe. *giggles*

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Anonymous asked: ur blog sux

As does your spelling. Feel free to unfollow me if you don’t like my blog, I’m not forcing you to stick around.

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Anonymous asked: I see alot of people here have a little age. I dont really have one that I can apply to myself at this point. I know its probably not nessecary to have one, but it would be comforting to have one and any help with that would be appriciated.

A lot of people don’t really fit into an age. In addition, a lot of people don’t have one age that stays the same. You can have a range. A good idea is to look at things you like to do when little and ages commonly associated with them to give you some sort of idea.